Blood on her hands
by Claire O'Mack
Summary: Janeway wakes to find herself covered in someone's blood, with no knowledge of how it got there. with the help of Tom they try to find out what happened that night, but has time already run out?
1. Chapter 1

Blood on her hands

She woke, not with her usual startled moment of the alarm going off, but with a grogginess, and thumping pain behind her eyes. The next thing she noticed was that she was not on her bed, but on the floor beside it. Reaching up she placed her hand on the softness of the mattress and pulled herself to her feet. The pain behind her eyes had somewhat lessened, but she reached up to touch her temples anyway. The wet sticky substance she felt then on her head made her quickly remove her fingers. Looking down she saw what could only have been blood. A slight metallic smell hung in the air, and as she looked down further, she saw more of it staining her grey under-shirt. Feeling slightly worried now, Janeway reached for her communicator which was thankfully on the night stand next to her bed.

"Janeway to Voyager, Voyager respond." Janeway tapped the communicator several times in this manner, always with the same response, silence. She looked around the unfamiliar room that had been assigned to her by the Akadwan administration, she had only been in this room once before. To change and stow her things before the party. She had no memory of coming back here, and certainly no memory of how she came to be covered in blood. Examining herself for injuries and finding none. Janeway was now on the verge of panic, something that would usually be very out of character for her, but right now she couldn't quell the turmoil building inside her.

"Janeway to Paris, Paris do you read me?" It took a few moments for the pilot to respond, in those few moments however, Janeway felt the panic tighten her throat, and caused her to hold her breath.

"Paris here, what's up Captain?" Tom responded, sounding slightly groggy himself, but the concern underpinning his voice was unmistakable.

"Can you come to my quarters Tom, I need your assistance." Janeway asked, her voice sounded level, but there was an urgency there which had Tom responding in the affirmative quickly. Janeway sat on the bed behind her, placing her hands in her lap, and waited for the chime at her door.

Tom was awakened by Janeway's voice over the communicator, he glanced at his clock while she spoke to him. It was barely five in the morning, and although he had only been asleep for less than five hours, he was wide awake at the request of his Captain. Exiting his quarters, having pulled on most of his uniform, minus the jacket, Tom noticed that dawn had only just begun on Akadowa. The sky to the East was still full of stars, as he moved down the hall way twenty feet to his Captain's room. The corridor was silent, as were the streets outside, and as he pressed for entrance, the sound of the door sweeping open surprised him. Tom did not have time to take in Janeway's appearance, for he was pulled inside before the door had even stopped moving out of the way. When he did finally get a look at her in the dim light of the room, his face immediately changed.

"Captain are you hurt, should I call the Doctor?" Tom said reaching out his hand to touch her where the blood was thickest on her shirt.

"No I am fine, I don't, this is not my blood." Janeway said almost frantically as she stepped away from his reaching hand.

"Not yours, then who's is it?" Tom asked confusion setting in now as Janeway turned from him and pointed to the floor.

"All I remember is waking up here, I have no recollection of returning to my room last night, or how I came to be covered in blood." Janeway said as Tom looked down, and saw small blood drops on the carpet. He quickly turned his face away and tapped his communicator.

"Paris to Voyager."

"I already tried that Tom, they can't here us." Janeway said as Tom was also met with silence.

"They have to still be up there, there is no way they would leave without us." Tom replied, now feeling a little of his own panic start to seep in. The pit of his stomach was churning as he took a deep breath.

"What is the last thing you remember?" Tom asked deciding to change the subject quickly before they had time to dwell on the fact that they could be alone down here.

"Umm I remember talking with you about trading for the Dilithium, and if we had enough Bromium to trade. Then talking with Minister Dufraine about possible shore leave for the crew. After that it gets a little fuzzy." Janeway replied, scrunching up her face as if she was trying to force the memory.

"You don't remember saying goodnight to me?" Tom asked remembering clearly her saying goodbye and walking back towards her quarters.

"No. I spoke to you?" Janeway enquired as Tom nodded his head.

"Yeah you said you were heading off to bed, not to stay up too late as we had an early start, and that we would contact Voyager in the morning to start beaming down supplies." Tom said now wondering what in the world could have happened last night.

"Do you have your medical tricorder with you? Maybe there is something in my system that could explain this." Janeway then said rubbing her fingers together, trying to remove the blood that was causing her to itch now as it dried.

"Yeah I do, why don't you get yourself cleaned up while I get it." Tom said realising that she must be pretty uncomfortable, and having a shower would, at least for a short while make her feel better.

"Ok, but hurry back Tom we need to figure out what is going on here." Janeway said, her memory black out beginning to disturb her, far more than she was ever going to tell Tom.

Tom left quickly and quietly, leaving Janeway to peel off her shirt and pants and climb into the shower. Letting the water cascade down her, she did feel less sticky and itchy, but better would be stretching it. Lingering under the shower, she realised that Tom had been a long time. Far longer than it should take to walk a few feet, grab a tricorder and return. Switching off the shower and wrapping herself in a large towel, she padded back into the small room and gabbed the first set of clothes that she had placed inside the chest of draws last night. As she dressed she wondered if Tom had left her alone longer on purpose, so she could finish getting showered and changed. Then she began to wonder if something had happened to him. Her stomach started to knot up, having been unable to contact Voyager and now the possibility of loosing Tom as well, Janeway felt the grip of panic grab hold of her once more. Turning and looking about the room, her eyes settled on her phaser. It was lying on the bedside table, right where she remembered leaving it. Walking towards it, she picked it up, turning it over in her hand. There was no way to tell if she had fired it recently, but it didn't look like it had been moved. The door chime went only a moment later, and Tom entered at her call. She was still holding the phaser, and for a moment Tom halted his entrance.

"Did you remember something?" He enquired as he held out the medical tricorder and pointed to the bed.

"No, but I don't think it's been moved." Janeway replied doing as he asked and sat herself down on the bed. While Tom took the scan he explained why he had taken so long.

"I tried scanning for Voyager, using the tricorder as a booster, I couldn't contact her, I also had a quick look around, but I found nothing a saw no one. Whatever happened last night, no one has reported anything." Tom said completing the scan and looking at the results.

"There is something here, a trace of, something, I couldn't even begin to tell you what it is, but it certainly shouldn't be there." Tom said now beginning to piece things together.

"At the party how many glasses of wine did you drink?"

"Two, I think, well that I can remember. The trade minister insisted I should have another glass as it was a special reserve, one they had brought in honour of our visit. I didn't care for it much, it was kind of sour." Janeway said now recalling forcing her second glass of wine down at minister Qubeck's request.

"Sour, mine was sweet and smooth, I have a feeling whatever this substance was, it was put in your drink." Tom said scanning himself and finding no trace of the toxin.

"Ok so we go to minister Dufraine and tell him what has happened, see if he can get in touch with Voyager and find out who's blood this is." Janeway said handing Tom the shirt and he looked at it.

"I can give you a pretty good idea right now." He said running the tricorder over the shirt. With limited information on Akadwan biology the tricorder could only give them limited readings.

"The sample is from a male Akadwan, but that's all I can tell you, it's certainly not human." Tom said slightly relieved. He did wonder if Janeway had been hurt maybe even sexually assaulted during the night, her assailant safe in the knowledge that she would not remember in the morning. Any cut or wound could have been healed prior to her waking up, but the tricorder readings now ruled that out.

"Ok so at least we have somewhere to start, but I don't want this to blow up in our faces, for now we go straight to Dufraine and hope he can help us." Janeway replied, now pulling on her jacket and zipping it up to her throat.

Tom watched as Janeway walked down the corridor, her eyes scanned every room, they looked at every picture on the wall, and even examined the carpet beneath their feet. It was as though she were looking for clues as to what happened last night. She was missing approximately five hours. It was a long time for something bad to happen. Long enough to cover it up as well. Finally reaching minister Dufraine's quarters, Janeway hit the chime. After a long pause she sounded the bell again. It was still early, and although dawn had now broken, there was still no movement inside the government building. They had been staying in the municipal building. It was a large place, used for holding diplomatic meetings, and large banquet's. Two of the upper floors held over a hundred rooms for visiting dignitaries and ministers of state. Now the place, full of life and noise last night, was deadly silent.

"Maybe they like sleeping in?" Tom whispered feeling to speak any louder would be unwise.

"Perhaps we should try contacting him though the communication panels in our quarters." Janeway whispered back, catching onto Tom's idea of keeping quiet.

"Yeah we could do, but who knows who can listen in on those things." Tom said, and Janeway had to admit he had a point, the channels were hardly secure, but right now they had little option. The minister was either not home, or he was fast asleep. Turning around Tom and Janeway were faced with a single man who was looking at them curiously. His hand was poised over his phaser and his eyes narrowed further as Janeway began to speak.

"Hello, we were wondering if you knew where minister Dufraine was, we have been trying to reach him?" She said as the man before them began to approach them slowly.

"We had a call for him a moment ago from the south province, but no one has managed to raise him." The guard said now stepping forward and removing his phaser from its holder.

"Please step against the wall, face first with your hands behind your back." The man ordered, Janeway and Tom felt no reason not to comply and did as they were asked. The guard meanwhile called for backup, which got there within moments.

Janeway didn't need them to open the doors to minister Dufraine's quarters, she already knew what they would find. Staring at the wall for the past fifteen minutes had given her time to think. Somehow she had been set up to look like she had killed minister Dufraine, probably for some political or financial reason. They were the perfect scape goats, alien visitors who were granted unrestricted access, and wanted to trade. Minister Qubeck was high on her list, after all it had been him who insisted she have more wine. However Janeway knew it could have been anyone. Not wanting to say anything right now about it, as herself and Tom were marched down a hall way and thrown into a cell, she sat quietly next to Tom, who was looking at her with a worried expression. The thoughts running through her head were jumbled up, but one thing was clear. Janeway could in no way be certain that she hadn't killed the minister, that in some drug induced state she had crept into his room, and cut his throat, and this beyond anything else made her hands shake in her lap.

Tom noticed her shaking hands, it was hard not to, the cell was small, ten feet by five, and obviously built for one. He didn't like seeing his Captain like this, so he turned his thoughts to what could have happened to Voyager.

When they had asked about their ship, the Akadowan's seemed genuinely surprised to here that they could not contact Voyager. In fact a Captain Jakata had tried himself, unsuccessfully before they had been taken away.

"I have had a thought, we have no idea how that toxin effected you, although we know you could carry out conversations like normal. Considering how you said goodnight to me, and I suspected nothing at the time." Tom said almost to himself as Janeway turned her head to look at him.

"So what are you getting at, that I somehow ordered Voyager to leave?" Janeway said somewhat sceptically at first then she sat for a moment. Her hands now coming to rest on either side of herself, gripping the hard mattress beneath them.

"They would only leave if I ordered them to, and Tuvok felt I was in no danger, and I had a damn good reason. If we can figure out that reason, maybe we can find them." Janeway said now releasing her grip and standing up. She began pacing up and down, after a while Tom began to feel dizzy watching her, so he caught her arm as she walked passed and stilled her.

"Sorry Captain but you're making me feel sick." He said with a slight smile as foot steps could be heard. Increasing in volume it was clear whomever was coming was coming to see them. Finally three men appeared at the forcefield to their cell.

"Captain Kathryn Janeway of the federation Star Ship Voyager, you are under arrest for the murder of Minister Dufraine. Lieutenant Thomas Paris you are also under arrest for aiding and abetting in this crime. Your hearing will be in eight hours, under our laws you will be entitled to submit a defence, if unsuccessful the punishment for these crimes is life imprisonment." The words were like a slap in the face, for a moment Janeway found it hard to breath, and she felt Tom's hand on her back. It was virtually holding her up as he spoke.

"Eight hours, but that is not enough time for us to investigate what happened, we need to get in touch with our ship." Tom said frantically, hoping that Janeway would came to her senses soon and help him out here.

"I am sorry but under Akadwan law you must stand trial for your crime on the day of your arrest. You are also a high flight risk, as your ship may return at any moment and take you from us. Please be ready." With that the men retreated, leaving Tom and Janeway alone again. It was only then that Tom felt Janeway's hand on his thigh. For a moment the touch was pleasurable almost sexual if they weren't in such a dire situation.

"Tom I will plead guilty, I will tell them I made you help me, that I lied to you, that you knew nothing of what I had done. That you were simply following my orders, it's the only way to save you." Janeway said then, increasing the pressure on his thigh by giving it a squeeze. Then her hand was gone, only the thought of it lingered as she pulled away from him and stood up.

"No way, Voyager can not loose you, I will tell them I did it I some kind of jealous rage. Voyager can go on without me, but not without you." Tom said now standing up with her and grabbing her by the shoulders. His grip was far harder than he intended it to be, and for a second he saw worry flash though Janeway's eyes. He quickly let go of her and stepped back until he was flush against the wall. Sliding down it until he was sitting on the floor below, Tom placed his head in his hands and screwed his eyes tight shut.

The next thing he felt was Janeway's hand on his shoulder, it caressed the skin of his neck slightly as she squatted down beside him.

"Tom there is a real possibility that I committed this crime, unwittingly or not, but you had nothing to do with this. I refuse to let you live the rest of your life in prison for something you didn't do." Janeway said, her hand still at his neck as he looked up into her grey blue eyes. For a moment they locked their, nothing but the sound of their breathing could be heard.

"If what you say is true then you didn't know what you were doing, if you killed the minister, but I was in full control when you called me, and I would have done anything to help you. So in fact what they are saying is true, I did aid you, and I would do it again in a heartbeat ." Tom replied, hoping to never loose this moment, her face was so open, her eyes big, slightly shiny from unshed tears. Janeway allowed a small smile to form on her face. It was no angry warrior story, but it did come from the heart and Janeway saw the Tom Paris she had always known had been there. Behind the bravado and the jokes, was a caring sensitive man, one that was now willing to sacrifice himself for her.

"How about this, we get some kind of defence ready and we both go home." Janeway said with a final pat to Tom's shoulder before she helped him off the floor.

"Ok so where do we begin?" Tom asked as Janeway sat on the bed and turned to him.

"At the beginning I guess."

Voyager had not returned, their defence was weak to say the least, their best piece of evidence the unknown toxin Tom had found in Janeway's system early that morning. They had run out of time, at five o'clock three guards appeared, taking them through the building and out onto the street. Janeway caught a glimpse of Minister Qubeck in the crowd that had gathered by what could only be a court house. It was an imposing building, high spires towered from its roof and large dark windows covered the exterior. They were led straight inside, and quickly placed in a small doc, there hands which had been free now cuffed to the rail in front of them. It was loose enough for them the stand as the judge entered. The court reminded Tom of the twentieth century earth courts, but there was no jury, and no one was typing up the proceedings. The Akadowan's were almost as technologically advanced as they were, but their judicial system seemed to be years behind.

"Case five, the murder of Minister Dufraine, will the prosecution make their case." The judge said as Captain Jakata started to speak. Their case was damning, not only did they have Janeway's blood soaked shirt, but also footage of her coming down a corridor leading to the ministers quarters only minutes after his time of death. But the most disturbing piece of evidence was the murder weapon. A long sharp knife found at the scene with Janeway's DNA on it had been found. It was also the explanation used for them returning several hours later.

"I conclude, that not only did Captain Janeway commit this crime, but also conspired with the Lieutenant to cover it up." Jakata finished as the judge nodded and turned to Janeway.

"Do you have a defence you would like to submit?" He asked the question seemed more of a formality than an actual inquiry.

"I do, I have no recollection of that night's events, we believe it is because of an unknown substance found in my system the following morning. We believe it was given to me at the party, placed in my drink, with the express purposes of setting me up to cover the real killers identity. The absence of my ship can be explained by this as well. For if I had committed this crime, surely escaping in my vessel would have been an appropriate course of action. We think the real killer needed the ship and our technology out of the way for his plan to succeed." Janeway finished looking the judge in the eye, but what she saw there did not improve her confidence.

"Do you have proof of this?"

"Of the toxin in my system yes, as for the rest no." Janeway responded, feeling the need to sit down, locking her knees however she remained upright.

"Having heard the evidence, and seen all the facts of this case, I will now pass judgement." There was a pause, Tom could here nothing but the pounding of his own heart inside his chest.

"Guilty."

TBC... Ok so this was meant to be a one shot, but it turned out far longer than anticipated, Thank you for reading XxX


	2. Chapter 2

It all changed right now, right here, as she was led to her cell, separated from Tom and left alone. It hadn't, until now fully sunk in just how dire this situation was. Sitting down on the simple hard cold mattress, Janeway tried to think of worse situations she had been in over the years. To her horror she could think of none.

"Penny for them." The sound of his voice drifted through the forcefield that covered the entrance to her cell. He must have been standing at the edge for her to here him.

"I'm pretty sure I would be over charging you." Janeway responded, getting up and moving towards the forcefield. The gentle humm coming form it a not so subtle warning to stay away.

"You know there is still a chance when Voyager returns that we can get out of here. Even if they have to beam us out." Tom said making himself more comfortable on the floor. Stretching his legs out in front of him. It was a mirror image in the cell next door, Janeway was sitting back to the wall. Legs out stretched on the cold concrete surface. Neither of them knew this of course, but both would have laughed if they did.

"You know the Akadwan technology is almost as advanced as ours, they will surely have secured our position from such a rescue attempt. Plus I wouldn't allow it, there is no way we could go on the run through this entire sector of the quadrant. I have ruined enough lives already." Janeway replied running her hands through her dirty hair and grimacing at her own unkempt state.

Tom was silent for a while, Janeway made a good point, but there was no way he was going to spend his life in here, with her blaming herself for it.

"Captain you haven't ruined anyone's life, everyone on board Voyager knew the risks, they accepted them, and supported your decision to destroy the array. The journey may have been a little longer, but doing it has been half the fun." Tom said a small smile coming to his face as he heard Janeway shift slightly in her cell.

"Now they will have to go the rest of the journey without us, and maybe I could live with that if I were alone here." Janeway said unable for the moment to find any solace in Tom's words.

"I think they might put up more of a fight for us than you anticipate Captain." Tom said also turning slightly. He was now talking directly towards the forcefield, his only view, the opposite wall, he could only imagine the anguish written all over Janeway's face.

"Oh I am sure they will, but I also fear what they might discover, and if it turns out I am guilty of this crime, then I must pay the penance." Janeway said drawing her knees up to her chin and resting it upon them.

"I just fear in doing so, you too will loose what you had, what you were becoming, how much being accepted again really meant to you." Janeway continued before Tom could voice his argument.

"I have no desire to protect my own life, but my crews. That meant more to me than getting home ever did." Tom could here the slight hitch in her voice, it was only then he felt the warm wet tear running down his left cheek. Not even attempting to brush the single tear away he placed his hand on the wall. Palm flat against it, even though she couldn't see it, and would never know, it made him feel somehow closer to her.

" Captain, you saved my life in every way it could have been saved, I've lived more in the past three years than I had done in my entire lifetime." Tom said his voice hitching slightly as he spoke. His effort to hide his welling emotions failing as he sat in the almost darkness talking to the wall. Janeway did not miss the tone of his voice, she could tell he was crying, and it wasn't because of his own situation.

"Don't you dare cry for me Tom Paris, I neither want, or deserve your tears, we only have each other in here, so lets start with a simple thing, why don't you drop the rank and call me Kathryn." Kathryn said now turning towards the wall, she could see only grey stone, but somehow she knew he was looking at the same piece of wall, on the opposite side.

"Ok but it may take a bit of getting used to." Tom said taking in a deep breath and pushing away the urge to break down.

"Fine, I think you will have long enough to get used to it. I think life on Akadowa means minimum of twenty five years." Janeway said quickly doing the maths and realising she would be sixty three when she would finally leave this place.

"That should be long enough." Tom said pulling himself straighter against the wall and folding his hands in his lap.

"Captain, sorry I mean Kathryn, what would you do when you got out, I mean if we have to stay here that long?" Tom said genuinely interested in her answer.

"I guess I would live out my twilight years in the most beautiful place I could find." Kathryn replied after a moments thought.

"Would you want to do that alone?" Tom said feeling brave, not only because he couldn't see her, but she had been the first to move the boundaries by asking him to call her Kathryn.

"I'm not sure, but you would always be welcome." Kathryn replied as she allowed her legs to drop to the floor once more. She was beyond tired, and yet her mind was a turmoil of thoughts. Silence descended upon them, but it wasn't awkward in anyway, just knowing the other was there was enough.

"I think I would like to live in a small house, close to a lake where I could go swimming when it was warm enough." Tom said then, his voice quiet and smooth, Kathryn nodded, but realised that Tom could not see this she voiced her approval.

"Sounds nice, near an orchard, or a small wood." She continued, and as the night wore on they continued to talk of their perfect house and life beyond this place. It surprised neither of them when they discovered the others dreams were the same as their own. Sleep did not come, but as night turned into day, the reality of their situation returned.

Escorted to breakfast with some other inmates Tom was pleased that the Akadwan people were very similar looking to humans. The only difference was they all had black or dark brown hair, they reminded him of Chakotay, with their olive skin and deep brown eyes. So on this point himself and Kathryn stood out. Especially Kathryn who's long red hair flowed down her back like a mane. She had dragged it up in a messy pony tail, but without anything to pin it with, the rebellious strands were falling loose about her face. Tom couldn't help but admire her from his place at the table next to her.

Tom noticed that Kathryn barely touched her food, and it wasn't even that bad. Compared to Neelix's cooking this was almost oat cuisine.

"Are you ok Captain?" Tom whispered but all her got was a raised eyebrow for the use of her rank.

"I'm fine Tom, just not that hungry." She replied, checking around the room once more, and finding lots of eye upon her.

"I wonder what the routine around here is?" Tom said finishing off his own breakfast and placing the cutlery on the paper plate.

"I have no idea, but I guess we will be finding out soon." Kathryn replied, but she couldn't have been more wrong.

When breakfast was finished they we called up to the wardens office, he seemed to be the one in charge around here. The news he had for them made Kathryn's heart leap inside her chest.

"Your ship has returned, and has requested that they should be allowed to look into your case. The Akadwan administration has decided to grant their request. Especially since you have resources we wish to trade for." The man said tapping his fingers against the desk. It was clear that he was not enthralled at the idea.

"May I speak with them?" Kathryn asked hoping they would have some knowledge of what happened on that fateful, forgotten night.

"You are permitted to speak with them, but only on a monitored channel." The warden confirmed, and at that Kathryn requested immediate contact. Kathryn, along with Tom were led to a room which contained a communications monitor, the appearance of Tuvok and Chakotay was a sight for sore eyes.

"I hope you are well Captain, it is only now we have learned of yours and Lieutenant Paris's fate." Tuvok said as he looked at them with his usual unemotional stare.

"I need to know why you left, as I have no memory of the night in question's events." Kathryn replied as Tom lent against the panel in front of him. The night of talking and no sleep catching up to him.

"You contacted us at around o'one hundred hours, asking us to go and collect as much Bromium as we could find. You said you were all fine and that minister Dufraine had offered you and lieutenant Paris a tour of the city. I said it would take several days and that you should perhaps rejoin Voyager for this endeavour. You were adamant that your remain on Akadowa." Tuvok stated as Kathryn nodded her head in disbelief. It seemed she had this conversation completely under the control of the drug she was given.

"There was one thing Kathryn that you said that bothered me though." Chakotay said now stepping forward slightly.

"What was that?" Kathryn replied hoping to get some clue as to what she had been thinking.

"When was asked you why you were so insistent on staying you seemed confused , but then you said, it's because that is what minister Qubeck wants. I don't know but it was like we had gone off script and you didn't know what to say." Chakotay said, and Kathryn felt another cog slip into place.

Quickly she and Tom ran through what they knew about what happened, their suspicions and their evidence. It took only twenty minutes, but it felt like they had been telling their life story. As they left the room and were escorted back to their cells, they both felt a twinge of hope, something that had not been there the previous night.

"If anyone can get us out of here it will be Tuvok." Tom said sitting back in his position on the floor as Kathryn joined him.

"There is still the possibility that I committed this crime Tom, don't forget that." Kathryn replied, knowing how dangerous it could be to get ones hope too high.

"I know but I think it's fairly obvious that you were being controlled by minister Qubeck, no one can be held accountable in that situation." Tom replied also knowing that having hope was what would keep them sane in a place like this. Last night they had talked about their shared life when they finally left this place. Even though Tom was hoping to get back to Voyager and resume his life, there was also a part of him that would miss that little cottage in the forest, alone with Kathryn.

"I'm pretty sure the Akadowan's will see it that way as well, but it is ultimately me who will have to live with what I may have done."

It took Tuvok only a day to discover what really happened on that forgotten night, the Doctor having discovered that the toxin was a powerful mind control drug, making the recipient very open to suggestion and control. There was footage at the party of minister Qubeck handing Kathryn the murder weapon, simply to look at and hand back, and finally the video of the mind meld was played for the judge. Tuvok had persuaded Kathryn to do it, and to record it. Knowing that not knowing was hurting her more than finding out the truth.

"As you can see, Captain Janeway's memories of that night show her under the control of minister Qubeck, but when it came to actually committing the crime, she would not comply. I think this speaks not only of her deep routed sense of honour, but also displays a remarkable control. On this evidence I hope you will rescind your verdict of guilty and punish the appropriate parties." Tuvok concluded as the Akadwan administration sat there in silence, shocked that one of their own could do such a thing.

"Captain Janeway please accept our sincere apologies for this miscarriage of justice, I only hope this does not effect our trade agreement." The judge said as Kathryn and Tom's hands were uncuffed and the door to their doc opened.

"We have no intention of backing out of our trade agreement, and no wish to make an enemy of you. We are alone out here, only looking to get back to our home, any friends we can make along the way is a bonus." Kathryn said holding her head up high and pulling slightly on the prison issue jump suit.

"Then you have made one in us, I can only hope this goes some way to making amens for our actions in this matter." The man replied as the court broke up and Kathryn and Tom were led out of the building by Tuvok.

"I must say Captain I am not sure prison green is your colour." Tuvok stated as he requested transport.

"Tuvok was that a joke?" Kathryn asked but his reply was lost as the beam took them back to Voyager. Kathryn never did get an answer.

It had been several days since their return, and life aboard Voyager was returning to normal, now full of dilithium the mood was good, the rationing on replicators had been increased, and holodeck time as well. Kathryn however had spent most of her time in her ready room. This incident had shaken her more than she would ever let on, and the one person who knew it, she had been avoiding. Her thoughts had turned to the blood she had found on her hands that morning, and of the death, that at times, she truly believed she had caused. Now as she sat staring out of the window, watching the stars streak passed she wondered how much blood was really on her hands. How many crew members she had lost already, and how many more were to come. She knew as a Captain she would be, if indirectly, responsible for many lives lost. It was the ultimate burden of command, it was also something she could never wash away.

The sound of her door chime pulled her from her morbid thoughts, and for a moment she felt relief. Calling entrance to her late night caller, Kathryn was pulled back into that memory again.

"Hi I was wondering if you would accompany me to the holodeck?" Tom said standing rather nervously in the doorway.

"Umm I guess I could." Kathryn replied unable to come up with a good excuse as to why she could not go with him. None anyway that wouldn't make her sound crazy.

They walked to the holodeck in silence, Tom had a slight excited air about him that made Kathryn slightly nervous, and as he typed in the commands for the programme she held her breath as the doors opened.

The view reviled a sunlit orange grove, the dappled sunlight casting soft shadows against the lime green grass below. Stepping inside and ducking under a low branch Kathryn reached up and touched the rough wood with her finger tips. Walking forward encouraged by Tom's hand on her lower back, she reached the edge of the grove, where a single bungalow stood. Smoke came from the chimney and ivy climbed the white washed walls.

"It's beautiful, just like I imagined." Kathryn said walking closer and pushing open the small wooden gate that led to the garden.

"And me." Tom replied, smiling like a fool at the joy on her face. Walking around the house at Tom's request, Kathryn was taken back by the view of the lake behind the house. It was large, serene and clear as glass. A waterfall stood at one end, while a small sandy inlet was present just below the path to the house.

"Oh Tom this is the most beautiful place I have ever seen." Kathryn said taking hold of his hand quickly before letting it go and making a b-line for the water.

"I hoped you would like it, when we spoke about this place, when I knew that we would never have it, there was something about it that I missed." Tom confessed as they stopped at the edge of the water. Kathryn watched as it moved slightly, the sun dancing off it's rippling surface before she turned to Tom. He was there looking down at her, watching her with the same appreciation that she had watched the view before her.

"I would have missed this too." Kathryn finally admitted, knowing that whatever boundaries had been re-established between them didn't matter now. Tom's smile was all Kathryn could have wanted in this moment, and the slight pang for something more, and for once, here in this place, a place they had created together she allowed it to linger.

"Maybe when we get back to Earth we can find a place like this, and go there." Tom suggested feeling bolder now at her response. There was also something more open about her now, the Captain in her peeled away and all that was left was the woman standing before him. Her feet getting dampened by the gentle lick of the lakes tide. Kathryn moved forwards then, taking his arm and wrapping into her own.

"That sounds great, but for now I would like to enjoy this with you." She said sitting down on the grass and pulling him down to sit beside her. Tom went willingly, he would sit here for a lifetime if it made her happy.

"You know you can come here whenever you want, I will give you the security password." Tom said after a few minutes. He looked down at her as she turned her head to meet his eyes.

"I will only come here with you, this is not a place to be enjoyed alone, or too frequently, someone could get lost here." Kathryn said not breaking gaze with him as a soft smile appeared on his face.

"Did you want to see the house?" Tom asked as Kathryn beamed and stood up.

"I thought you would never ask."

THE END

Hope you enjoyed that, thinking of writing an M rated epilogue but will only do it on request as that part is not written yet. Thank you for reading XxX


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